Adult funny SMS Collections

Oneliner adult funny sms

A pole in the hole, make a new soul...

 

Sex is game

KAMASUTRA says that.. sex is..

Duty- if done with ur wife..
Art- if done with ur love..
Education- if done with a virgin..
Tution- if done with ur teacher..
Job- if done with your boss/secretary..
Science- if done with a fertile lady..
Business- if done with a prostitute..
Social work - if done with ur neighbour
Charity- if done with a widow
Sacrifice- if done with ur own hand

 

Sex is game

Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name

 

A non veg sms about Kiss

Q: What is a kiss?

A: Very simple, its an enquiry at the top floor about the vacancy in the ground floor.

 

A Funny Adult Sms

Aids awareness slogan:

Cover ur stump b4 u pump
dont b silly, protect ur jelly..
AIDS is no joke
wrap b4 u poke
dont be fool
condomize ur tool... ;-)

 

A funny adult sms

biology teacher told all students to draw female reproductive organ.
one girl felt shy and looked down.
sardar boy shouted - mam she is copying.

A funny jokes about lady and destist

Lady 2 dentist: Dant nikalwane se to pregnent hona achha hai,
Dard to kam hota hai..

Destist: abhi soch lo kya karwana hai,
fir main chair usi hisab se set karu

 

A funny dirty adult sms

Nurse : khan saheb,mubarak ho,
aap ko judwa bete hue hain.
Khan : yeh to hona hi tha,
maine koshish jo dono taraf se ki thi

 

Oscar nominated films

Oscar nomination 4 blue films r :
1 : uatr k panti so gayi aunti,
2 : hasina k dudu me pasina,
3 : pati fouz mein to biwi mouz me,
4 : ghar me shali to puri raat diwali

 

Salesgirl and customer

Salesgirl : sorry, u cant smoke here,
Customer : but i bought cigerates from here
Salesgirl : sir we sell condoms too,
but it doesnt mean u start fukin here.

Coversation between - Condom and whisper

Condom says to whisper : buddy every months u stop my business for one week
Whisper says : ahh if u make a mistake one time, I'll loose my business for 9 months.....

 

Man and a lady in lift-funny and adult sms

In lift, mans elbow accidently touch lady's breast.
man: if ur heart soft as ur breast ull forgive me.
lady: if ur cock s hard as ur elbow im in room 207.

 

Man and deaf girl

Man marries deaf Girl-
He writes-We must fix a Code: If I want SEX I'll press ur left BooB-U reply by shakin my penis once for YES, or 50 times for NO....!

 

Calories burnt by sex

Calories burnt by sex:
Lying down: 90cal
Stnding up: 492cal
Dog style: 326cal
2nd round: 824cal
Dresing up after sex while WIFE knocks at the door: 50000 cal.

 

A man married a lady traffic police

A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector.
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed,
200 for wrongside entry and Rs 500 for no helmet

 

Prostitution is best business

Two prostitutes were talking:
We're in the best business in the world
Why's that then?
Well, we've got it, we sell it, and we've STILL got it!

 

Sand saal mein 300 bar sex karta hain

Wife to husband : ek Sand saal me 300 bar sex krta hai
Tum iska adha bhi nahi krte.
Pati : ye kaha likha ha ke wo 300 bar ek hi cow ke sath krta hai

 

Why girls wear tight fittings

UNIVERSAL TRUTH : 

When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable
Nor
Boys are comfortable�. !!

 

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hain

Q. Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata he?
A. Jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye aur uski maa kahe,
HE BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA.

 

A funny adult sms

Galib sahab par ek ladki ne peshab kar diya.
Galib :aye chanchal shokh hassena ye kaisi nadani hai?
Grl:Aap jis jheel se nikle hain,ye usi jheel ka pani hain

 

A girl to doctor - non veg sms

A girl goes 2 doctor n says-Doctor mere niche 1 ched aur kar do.
Doctor asked: why?
Girl : business aacha chal raha hai soch rahi hu ek branch aur khol loon.

 

Banta and Lady Teacher

LadyTeacher: write a sentence ending with hand.
Banta: My penis in ur hand. Teacher slapped Banta.
Santa: Sorry mam, I 4got 2 put space betwn PEN IS. 

 

A funny adult sms

Sardar:Will U Marry me?
Girl:Sorry I'm a Lesbian.
Sardar:"Whats Lesbian?"
Girl:"I have Sex only with Girls".
Sardar:"Maar Taali I'm also Lesbian" 

 

Chalo sex karte hain

Husband:- ne sasural me biwi se : chalo sex karte hain
Biwi : nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai
Husband :- tho kya mere baap ka ghar red light area hai jo to roz
Taiyar ho jati hai. 

 

Cheating in ad

Fair & lovely ke ad me face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad me hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad me baal dikhaye
Phir whisper ke ad mein cheating kyun?

 

2 men and callgirl

2 men went 2 a callgirl. 1st went in and came out n said "Na my wife is better." 2nd went in and came out n said "U R right ur wife is much better."

 

 

Topup and lifetime - funny and naughty sms

Suhagrat ko pati ne patni se pucha "kya mehsus kar rahi ho ?"
Patni = aaj tak top_up me kam chalate the aaj se life time karwa liya.

 

 

Girl cycling

Ek bar girls hostel me ladkiya cycle chalate hue bahut shor macha rahi thi,Tabhi WARDEN ayi aur boli "shor kam machao nahi to cycle ki seat wapis lagwa Dungi. 

 

Rajasthani lady and conductor

 Conductor : baccha ko ticket?

Rajsthani lady :- iko bhi lagego ke ? yo tho abaar bobo chuse hai.
Conductor:- bobo tho iko baap bhi chuse hai.
To uke bhi free me bitha lu 

 

Girls hostel

Girls hostel me phone aaya- meena hai kya ?
Warden ne pucha-piche kya lagati hai ?
Jawab aaya-ab tho pata nahi pehle sarson ka tel lagati thi

 

 

Ladki or salwar

Bakri Ki Jan Talwar Ke Niche,
Ladki Ki Jan Salwar Ke Niche,
Jo Chali Jaye Mat Bhago Uske Piche,
Pyar Karo Usi Se Jo Salwar Khole Khusi Se!
Best Of Luck. 

 

Lady in bus

Lady in bus: aapka kuchh touch ho raha hai.
Man: Oh, wo meri salary hai pocket mein.
Lady: OYE! TERI SALARY 5 MINUTES MEIN 3 GUNA BADH GAYEE?!? 

 

36 no shoe

Lady � shoes dikhaiye. Shopkeeper :- kitne number ka ? Lady � 36 no. Shopkeeper :- shoes kya boobs pe lagani hain? 

 

Circumcision

A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son, but they dont know proper word to print, so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS 

 

Girl's T-shirt

Most interesting line written
on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Excuse me !
My face is above.;-)

 

 

Dad how was I born

Little Boy: Dad How Was I Born? Dad: Well, Son Ur Mom & I Got Together at "Yahoo". We Set up A Date Via E-Mail & Met In Cyber Cafe Ur Mom Agreed To "Download..... Data" From My "Pen Drive". Just When I Was About to "Transfer", We Realised That Non Of Us Had "Installed" A "Firewall" It Was Too Late To hit "Delete..... Nine Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying"You Have Got A Male" ....

 

A dirty Sms Jokes

Ek kunwari ladki ki petme baccha aa gaya..
Uski baap : ye kiska hain?
Ladki : papa miss call to sab hi marta tha..
pata nahi kiska receive ho gaya..!  

 

 

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